Goodbye 2014

2014 has been a strange year for me. A good one but a strange one. In many ways I have learned nothing new but in other ways I have learned so much. I have been reminded of so much that God has done.
- January of 2014, I was in the aftermath of losing people who I loved very much. Nobody died but they left and suddenly I didn't want to get close to people. I got terrified, that's the only one to describe it, I was terrified to get to know anyone because I didn't want to get hurt again and I was suddenly scared that the people I was close to still would leave. Something I learned all over again was that if Jesus could love a selfish and unfaithful person like me then I could certainly love people if I was loving Jesus.
- Something that was happening all throughout 2014 was that I was trying to be more thankful. Each day I wrote in my notebook one thing that I was thankful for and I could only write one thing once. I didn't finish the whole year, I got to January to July maybe but even now I still think in my head "okay so what good thing happen today that I haven't been thankful for before?" It keeps me grounded. Remembering all of the little things I have to be thankful was a great exercise and I am so glad that I did that.
- March to December of 2014, I'm not sure how to describe this period expect that I was experiencing the joy and amazement of the Gospel like I never heard it before. I was feeding on milk, resting in the simple facts and promises that despite of all my issues and all of struggles that I was dealing with, sins I was being convicted on, that Jesus still loved me and would never leave me. His goodness, his greatness, constantly being reminded of who He is. I realised what a strange mystery the Gospel is that all-powerful, mighty, holy, and good God would love little, ugly, sinful, me. I realised that even though I had head-knowledge that God was my Father and his love is a gift and we don't have to work to receive that, even though I knew that, I wasn't living like that. I was living as if I had to work hard in order for God to notice me, to get Him to love me and to a certain extent I do that with other people. The promise and fact that He has adopted me into His family has filled me up with so much joy and I feel so much lighter now, I don't have the same weight on me as I did before. I was constantly learning the same thing over and over again; I was learning the Gospel all over again and guys it's been such a precious gift, such a precious time of learning. I never want to stop learning about the Gospel, never want it to go stale again.
so 2014, I have done many things with you. Thanks for being a blast and being a good year. Let's pray that the next one is equally good.

Lister's gonna to list

Before we go into the all of the New Year stuff,

Merry Christmas!!

Thinking about new year coming up makes me think of all of the things I have done in the last year and then usually when I get bored, I make lists because list are fun (I'll just stick to three items to make this list short). Like this for example-

Books I have read and loved in 2014

1. Bleak House by Charles Dickens- mostly because I thought it wasn't going to beat Little Dorrit by a landslide but then I was so surprised by the story and the characters that I think I may like it more than Little Dorrit. I don't know, it's a close call

2. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier- I read it at my lovely friend Jess's house and I ignored her for about a day and a half just to finish this book. I felt sick to my stomach and had a huge book hangover and once I finished the book all I could do was lie in the chair, said things that started with " I can't believe that it blah blah blah blah blah".

3. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak- a beautifully written book, it was sad, quirky, and beautiful. I can't think of anything else to describe it.

There's an example, three top new books I read this year and loved.

Best movies I watched in 2014?

1. The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies- guys not to give any spoilers but I have seen twice in the cinema already, the first time I cried, the second time it was worse- I sobbed like a baby and my older brother Garrett laughed at me the entire time. Still I loved it and I can't wait for it for come out on DVD and in Extended Edition!

2. Mockingjay: Part 1- okay guys now this is really hard movie to watch because of these strange things we call feelings but this was really good as well. Also I waited a long time to actually see the movie and it was worth it at the end.

3. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty- just to show you guys I just don't watch sad movies but seriously this was good. It was funny, it was cute, it had Iceland in it and some of the Icelandic music in it, you should just watch it because of Iceland, but even if you don't watch it for the sake of Iceland, it was still a really good movie.

You bored yet? You know what they say; Lister's gonna to List (not sure if Lister is a word but lets go with it)

So that's it for now, but look out for New Years, there is another list coming up, but a less shallow and silly one.

Hey, Lister's gonna to list.

P.S. what were your three top movies and books that you have enjoyed this year?

Goodbye Teens

This Friday was my birthday.

My 20th birthday, which means I am no longer a teenager.

I know weird right? Right now I am not sure to be excited that those fairly terrible teen years are behind me ( that period of being 12 to 15 years old, NOW that was terrible) or sad that they are finally gone and does this mean that I have to be mature now? Everyone keeps on asking me if I feel any different and the thing is that I don't really feel any different. I feel pretty much the same, I found other things, besides the fact that I am 20, stranger. Like for example my good friend Holly who came down for the weekend for my birthday ( we'll save that for another post) the fact that I have now known her for a whole decade (What? how did that happen?). The fact that 15 years ago I thought that I would live in California forever and that 15 years later I would be all the way in England. The fact that when I was little, I thought being 20 was the epitome of maturity and by the age of 20 I would have moved out, had a fabulous job, making lots of money and to my 6-year-old mind 20 was the perfect age to get married ( HA! I was so stupid). Life is strange, weird, wonderful, and it goes by so quick.

It was a quiet birthday, small but I got spoiled, friends bought me flowers (guys I love flowers), bought me mini chest of drawers with a little notepads and pens in. Mom made me Mexican food with real corn tortillas and they got me so many presents, including two good movies: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and the Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug Extended Edition! I was surrounded by friends and good food all weekend and today we had our Christmas service and 3 people got saved there. Guys I can't ask for a better birthday gift.

And to end this first day of winter, there a beautiful sunset outside and the whole sky has been transformed into hues of pinks and oranges. So goodbye teens, it's been fun and awkward and I'm kinda of glad/sad to say goodbye to you.

The Truth about Preparing for Christmas

So hey

Right now life is really busy. I think that you probably feel the same. There is always some sort of work to do before Christmas, have to finish up this amount of coursework, have to do these exams and papers, there are always a party or five that you have to go too because what the heck, it's Christmas! You have all of this shopping to do and not to mention the endless horror of gift-wrapping (Can someone just wrap all of these presents for me please?) and you have to be creative and try to think of gifts that are perfect for everyone and that will not break your budget.  You bake cookies, you do a lot of cooking, there is usually a lot of sneaking and lying involved because you can't tell your sisters who your secret Santa is because they will just tell everyone else, and we talk about Santa ( is it just me or is the idea of an old man sneaking into your house to bring you 'gifts' just creepy?) and what we want for Christmas and oh it's Jesus's birthday but then we just bring presents back into it. Chaotic and sometimes it's kinda of stressful, but still I really really love Christmas, maybe part of it has to do with the child in me that goes YES PRESENTS! PRESENTS FOR ME! ME! PRESENTS! A part of it has to do with the Rat Pack and them singing lovely Christmas songs to me. A part of it has to do with the Christmas lights because they are so pretty. A part of it is the food because well lets be honest...food is one of the things that just make Christmas. A part of it has to do with family and spending time with them.

So how do you feel after reading that description?

If you feel excited and warm and fuzzy for Christmas then join the club, because I feel this a lot after reading descriptions like these.
If you feel disappointed or concerned that I only mentioned Jesus's birthday once, then well done, you had the exact right response.

If I am honest, reading these description without mentioning Jesus makes me excited for Christmas but Christmas is not just about family, giving, gifts, and food even though these are all good things, that is not what our focus should be. Our focus should be Jesus and I know this is the bit where everyone says "of course, duh", I do that too but sometimes I don't act like I believe that. I don't act like celebrating Jesus's birthday is important, sometimes it's more like dad-can-you-read-the-Nativity-story-quicker-so-I- can-open-up presents-now? Something that you can pray for me guys, to not get caught up in the busyness, stressfulness, prettiness ( I don't know if that's a word but go on with me on this) but to remember that we celebrate CHRISTmas because it's all about Jesus coming down in a lowly stable and dying for me so I can be a part of his family.

Remember that guys, we are all His favorites. 

Post-Thanksgiving Feeling

Back in the day when I was a very small girl ( I sound like an old woman already), Thanksgiving meant family, lots of food, and then hours spent afterwords too full to move and being bored watching your dad and grandpa yell at the TV whenever the refeere made an stupid mistake when it came to American Football (because everyone knows, the audience ALWAYS knows better). it meant dry turkey with plenty of gravy and cranberry sauce to cover it, relatives who showered you with love and wet kisses, and when you had to think of something that you were thankful for quickly when your turn came on the table to say what you were thankful for. I never appreciated until after I moved the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners because Thanksgiving and Christmas always meant being surrounded by chaotic, messy, and loud family. Something that I both dreaded and looked forward to as the shy kid who blushed whenever someone tried to talk to her. Now that I am older and now I am in England which I love but still I miss it. We had Thanksgiving with a bunch of Americans in our church but also other Americans, some that we didn't know. Even though it was nice to be surrounded by American and know that they get my sarcasm, it didn't feel like Thanksgiving. I didn't know some of these people, some of these people didn't talk to me and though I am thankful and I will list some things that I am thankful for soon, but this is part of the whole post-thanksgiving feeling. You miss family, in a strange way you miss chaos, and there is really nothing to be done about it. Expect that is, remember the things that you do have and are thankful for.

Now before it's seems like I am wallowing in self-pity (isn't that such a great word. wallowing), here are a few things that I am thankful for.

1. I can actually get ready for Christmas and no one can judge me now. Yay!

2. Cliche but true so I'll say it anyways, I am thankful for my parents and my siblings, I am so glad that I am close to them and that even though they are annoying and they find me annoying, we still love each other-when we aren't trying to kill each other

3. Ditto but I also thankful for my friends. People who love and care for me as if they really were my family, people who I feel like I belong with, who I can be myself with. I am finding out more and more recently that you don't need a lot of things to thrive. You just need Jesus and people that you love and who love you.

4. and Most importantly, I am so thankful for Jesus. That He sought me, drew me near to him, and that He still loves me even though I don't love Him as I should. Guys, something else that I am slowly learning along the line- I don't love Jesus enough and I want to grow to love Him more and more. It's not just religion, it's not just head-knowledge. Jesus, oh man, one thing that I am thankful for, is that He is so trustworthy, worthy to follow, He is so beautiful and worthy to give my time and life too.

So without further ado.

Goodbye you delicious pumpkin spice, you will be missed. Hello you oh so special eggnog, oh how I have missed you.

Reasons why I should not be a blogger

1. Isn't blogging as a fad getting kind of old now and doesn't everyone know each other already in the blogger world? I would be like that awkward kid who pushes his way through a group of old friends and acts like he has known them forever when in reality he has only known them for a few minutes.

2. I'm putting my writing, myself, into a strange world of millions of bloggers and I would be just another blogger with another blog about life and stuff because come on, who wouldn't want to hear about my life? is that even a question?

3.  The only talents I can showcase on this blog is writing. Writing, that is it, I don't even have a camera to take pictures- I know, how can I blog without taking pictures? That is the whole of purpose of blogging nowadays isn't it?

4. and then a blog is usually about the person writing it, right? All day in and all day out it would be all about me, me, me, me. Even I would get sick of that.

So then, why on earth am I even writing this blog post if I don't want to blog.

One word: Holly

Basically my really awesome friend Holly has been bugging me about doing a blog for a couple of months now. She is now in Bible College and has now given me a reason a blog. It's so hard sometimes to find time to Skype and catch up on each other life so here's the deal Holly.

If you continue to blog so I can catch up on your life then I will blog so you can catch up on my life.

Okay there, I have done it.

Bye.