One Sentence Reviews

Books are completely and utterly magical, the feel of them, the smell of them, and the way they transport us into another word, there is nothing else that can quite replace a good paperback book. Books are magical though, not because of the way they make us feel but because they make us think in a way that we haven't thought of before. Though I have to admit I reread a lot, I love reading new books. Over the last couple of months I have read some new books and I wanted to share them (even the bad ones) and what I thought of them and also what their rating is ( 10 means amazing, life-changing experience and anything below 5 means don't even go there). Also I decided to give me a challenge I would only write one sentence on them and what I thought of them.

Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

I like the book purely of the language, which maybe isn't a good reason but I just love words too much.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery

I was basically reliving the blissful childhood memories I never had by reading the children's books that I have never read.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth

Midwifes, nuns, England post WWII, slums and the stories of the people who used to live there, what is not to like?

Rating: 7 out of 10

The Foundling by Georgette Heyer

The book (and there are many others) are set in Jane Austen era but these books are less than romance (though there is always a romance) than they are a comedy of manners, very witty and enjoyable.

Rating 7 out of 10

The Last Boat Home by Dea Brovig

The characters and the town that they live in were told beautifully, the climax was huge, surprising and I hated the climax, so without further ado.

Rating: 5 out of 10 ( I wouldn't go there again-I'm allowed to not forgive a book...I think)

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

This is the type of book that is unforgettable, moving, constantly interesting and is now a personal favorite.

Rating: 9 out of 10

So that is the list of books I have read in the last couple of months (Lister's gonna List) and let me know if I suck or not suck at one sentence reviews.

A Reminder

So here is a question for you. When you learn something or hear something or see something that really moves you-and I'm not talking about hearing a nice story and going "oh that is so nice and inspirational" and going on with the rest of your life being the same old you- I'm talking about the things that are true, things that maybe scare you, things that are hard to hear but things that you needed to hear, what do you do with them?
I understand that I need to learn and I want to learn, the problem I have with learning hard things is when I am in the midst of learning them. I'm all for learning and growing until I am actually in the midst of it because I'm a fickle and stupid human being and learning is hard. This is what I do when I'm learning the big lessons and often it's hard because I am forced to come up with the uncomfortable version of myself. It isn't comfortable. I have been thinking about something and that is maybe the small lessons add up to big lessons. Small reminders add up to the big reminders.
Last weekend I went to the Calvary Chapel Woman's Retreat here in the UK and I was looking forward to it, If you read my last post then you would have guessed that I was a little bit stressed and worrying a little bit. I went to the woman's retreat with nothing to lose really, or that is how I felt and I needed the break. When I found out that the theme was 'To Know Him' based on Philippians 3:10, I didn't think about it much, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
I needed to be reminded that my purpose is to know Jesus.
I needed to be reminded that the right perspective comes by knowing Jesus.
I needed to be reminded that I needed to dethrone the fears that were ruling over me and also my control that are trying to control my life and realise that Jesus needed to be on the throne in my life.
I needed to be reminded that the answer is not in loving ourselves but in knowing and trusting in Jesus.
There was something that the speaker Cheryl Broderson said that really struck me and she said something along the lines of this. " I have needed every affliction and every trial that I have ever gone through because every trial and affliction has grown me and brought me closer to my Jesus." oh man, that was a big one. That really struck me, the thing about all of these things , I already had head knowledge of them, I mean come on I'm a pastor's kid + I grew up in Calvary Chapel which = lots of Bible Knowledge. However God really spoke to me there, while I was surrounded by lots of people and it felt good. It felt good to hear God speaking to me, it felt good to be encouraged by the sermons, by the woman in my church, by some of the pastor's wives who I know who are practically family away from family. It was good to be reminded again. I forgot that I needed reminding of my Jesus. My precious Jesus who I so easily forget, guys I am learning that even though I have no clue what the next step is, that knowing Jesus is the center of my life, is the purpose of my life. Fear, Insecurity, Hopelessness, and Not Belonging, those demons have no place, no foundation in my life, that doesn't mean that I don't feel them because I do, I do everyday but they are not the center of my life and I don't need to put them on the throne for a second, not when the King of kings is calling me to come and worship Him. Something that I need to be reminded on more often, He calls me to worship and to know Him.

Just Do Something

When I was little, I thought that I would have all of my life figured out by 20. I thought that everything good would happen to me, by then, no doubt, I would be a famous writer, by then, no doubt, I would be changing the world into a better place, by then, no doubt, my life would great, interesting, full of adventures and different. 
I'll be completely honest with you. A few months ago I got my first proper job. I loved it and I thought that I could do this forever when I first started. Of course I got my usual wanderlust, my restlessness that I get pretty much every week, and there were days when I was so tired that it was hard to smile but still I loved my job and I enjoyed it.
I lost my job a few weeks ago.


it's a really strange feeling to lose your job. You keep on reminding yourself 'it's not personal' but it is personal because your employees are talking about your work ethic, the way you are, whether or not you fit or whether or not this job is working out for them having you do it. You feel like a failure, you think to yourself 'I'm 20, I should have this stuff figured out by now' and suddenly you have a lot of time on your hands. What do you do? You don't understand, suddenly you don't have a plan for the future, you have no clue what's up ahead and that is really scary, no matter how grown-up you try to be. What do you do? You think of all of the dreams you had as a kid, those superficial dreams that died a long time ago with Christ, those dreams that still exist today and you still wish on a star, even if you don't believe it, you just pretend to because it is comforting. You think of all the things people tell you to do but it's so hard to follow their advice in the daytime. 'travel while you're young because you'll never get the chance again, go and write that book, write that poem, take that course, get an education and get into hopeless debt, get a job, find something that you love to do,  if there is that job there take it,can't depend on the economy dear, a job is a job, follow your dreams, but a job is a job, follow your dreams, but a job is a job'. It goes on and on and usually repeats itself like a song stuck on repeat. What do you do? You either listen to people or ignore them. Take the advice that is good, hard but true and try that out. Ignore all of the advice that was kindly given but doesn't apply to you. Of course that is easier said than done. Easier said than done, though if you think about it, applies to pretty much every situation you can think of. What do you do? Travel if you got the money and time to do so. If you can't travel to another country, go somewhere, take a walk, take a hour and walk, just you and God, no one else. What do you do? go and write that book, write that poem. You won't write that poem or that book in a day or a week, it will take years probably but start on it now, now while you have some time. What do you do? You just need to do something. Travel, take that walk, write that book, write that poem, do what you have to do. Get that job and follow that dream if possible but just do something. Something is better than nothing.

What am I going to do now? At this moment, I don't know, but I'm going to do something.

I'm not Dead

Just a short post to say I am not dead.

I am not dead! *waves excitedly* yay!

So this weekend I was going to post another post (yay!) but it's about something more serious so I wanted this to be an in-between post or something. You ready to have me ramble for a bit? No? too bad.

Lately I have been wondering how productive is my life, how much time do I spend wasting my time on stuff that doesn't really matter in the end. I am wondering why I write. I am wondering why life so quickly gets stale and you so quickly get restless, wanderlust, and you think about how exciting it must be to travel, to write, to do something that you are not doing. I wonder why I get so restless. I wonder why everyone gets restless. I wonder how people can work with so much noise going on when I can only work in silence. I wonder how much people are made in noise and made in silence. I wonder a lot, a lot of important things lately, a lot of serious things, and I sit in my room and I pray and beg for answers.

 I wonder. Why am I so discontent at times when I have everything and most of the things that I need. I have a family who I love and who loves me, I have friends who I love and who loves me, I have Life Everlasting with Jesus Christ, why does my life go so stale so fast?
Maybe you feel the same, maybe you feel restless, you are plagued with wanderlust and with that you can't settle and be content in the here and now. I don't have any answers expect maybe I should try and live my life with this reality blaring in my head.
This is not forever. This is not the end, I am alive, I am not dead. I'm not dead, I am breathing, living, crawling slowly to something eternal and something good. This is not forever.

I am not dead.