One Sentence Reviews

Books are completely and utterly magical, the feel of them, the smell of them, and the way they transport us into another word, there is nothing else that can quite replace a good paperback book. Books are magical though, not because of the way they make us feel but because they make us think in a way that we haven't thought of before. Though I have to admit I reread a lot, I love reading new books. Over the last couple of months I have read some new books and I wanted to share them (even the bad ones) and what I thought of them and also what their rating is ( 10 means amazing, life-changing experience and anything below 5 means don't even go there). Also I decided to give me a challenge I would only write one sentence on them and what I thought of them.

Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

I like the book purely of the language, which maybe isn't a good reason but I just love words too much.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery

I was basically reliving the blissful childhood memories I never had by reading the children's books that I have never read.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth

Midwifes, nuns, England post WWII, slums and the stories of the people who used to live there, what is not to like?

Rating: 7 out of 10

The Foundling by Georgette Heyer

The book (and there are many others) are set in Jane Austen era but these books are less than romance (though there is always a romance) than they are a comedy of manners, very witty and enjoyable.

Rating 7 out of 10

The Last Boat Home by Dea Brovig

The characters and the town that they live in were told beautifully, the climax was huge, surprising and I hated the climax, so without further ado.

Rating: 5 out of 10 ( I wouldn't go there again-I'm allowed to not forgive a book...I think)

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

This is the type of book that is unforgettable, moving, constantly interesting and is now a personal favorite.

Rating: 9 out of 10

So that is the list of books I have read in the last couple of months (Lister's gonna List) and let me know if I suck or not suck at one sentence reviews.

A Reminder

So here is a question for you. When you learn something or hear something or see something that really moves you-and I'm not talking about hearing a nice story and going "oh that is so nice and inspirational" and going on with the rest of your life being the same old you- I'm talking about the things that are true, things that maybe scare you, things that are hard to hear but things that you needed to hear, what do you do with them?
I understand that I need to learn and I want to learn, the problem I have with learning hard things is when I am in the midst of learning them. I'm all for learning and growing until I am actually in the midst of it because I'm a fickle and stupid human being and learning is hard. This is what I do when I'm learning the big lessons and often it's hard because I am forced to come up with the uncomfortable version of myself. It isn't comfortable. I have been thinking about something and that is maybe the small lessons add up to big lessons. Small reminders add up to the big reminders.
Last weekend I went to the Calvary Chapel Woman's Retreat here in the UK and I was looking forward to it, If you read my last post then you would have guessed that I was a little bit stressed and worrying a little bit. I went to the woman's retreat with nothing to lose really, or that is how I felt and I needed the break. When I found out that the theme was 'To Know Him' based on Philippians 3:10, I didn't think about it much, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
I needed to be reminded that my purpose is to know Jesus.
I needed to be reminded that the right perspective comes by knowing Jesus.
I needed to be reminded that I needed to dethrone the fears that were ruling over me and also my control that are trying to control my life and realise that Jesus needed to be on the throne in my life.
I needed to be reminded that the answer is not in loving ourselves but in knowing and trusting in Jesus.
There was something that the speaker Cheryl Broderson said that really struck me and she said something along the lines of this. " I have needed every affliction and every trial that I have ever gone through because every trial and affliction has grown me and brought me closer to my Jesus." oh man, that was a big one. That really struck me, the thing about all of these things , I already had head knowledge of them, I mean come on I'm a pastor's kid + I grew up in Calvary Chapel which = lots of Bible Knowledge. However God really spoke to me there, while I was surrounded by lots of people and it felt good. It felt good to hear God speaking to me, it felt good to be encouraged by the sermons, by the woman in my church, by some of the pastor's wives who I know who are practically family away from family. It was good to be reminded again. I forgot that I needed reminding of my Jesus. My precious Jesus who I so easily forget, guys I am learning that even though I have no clue what the next step is, that knowing Jesus is the center of my life, is the purpose of my life. Fear, Insecurity, Hopelessness, and Not Belonging, those demons have no place, no foundation in my life, that doesn't mean that I don't feel them because I do, I do everyday but they are not the center of my life and I don't need to put them on the throne for a second, not when the King of kings is calling me to come and worship Him. Something that I need to be reminded on more often, He calls me to worship and to know Him.

Just Do Something

When I was little, I thought that I would have all of my life figured out by 20. I thought that everything good would happen to me, by then, no doubt, I would be a famous writer, by then, no doubt, I would be changing the world into a better place, by then, no doubt, my life would great, interesting, full of adventures and different. 
I'll be completely honest with you. A few months ago I got my first proper job. I loved it and I thought that I could do this forever when I first started. Of course I got my usual wanderlust, my restlessness that I get pretty much every week, and there were days when I was so tired that it was hard to smile but still I loved my job and I enjoyed it.
I lost my job a few weeks ago.


it's a really strange feeling to lose your job. You keep on reminding yourself 'it's not personal' but it is personal because your employees are talking about your work ethic, the way you are, whether or not you fit or whether or not this job is working out for them having you do it. You feel like a failure, you think to yourself 'I'm 20, I should have this stuff figured out by now' and suddenly you have a lot of time on your hands. What do you do? You don't understand, suddenly you don't have a plan for the future, you have no clue what's up ahead and that is really scary, no matter how grown-up you try to be. What do you do? You think of all of the dreams you had as a kid, those superficial dreams that died a long time ago with Christ, those dreams that still exist today and you still wish on a star, even if you don't believe it, you just pretend to because it is comforting. You think of all the things people tell you to do but it's so hard to follow their advice in the daytime. 'travel while you're young because you'll never get the chance again, go and write that book, write that poem, take that course, get an education and get into hopeless debt, get a job, find something that you love to do,  if there is that job there take it,can't depend on the economy dear, a job is a job, follow your dreams, but a job is a job, follow your dreams, but a job is a job'. It goes on and on and usually repeats itself like a song stuck on repeat. What do you do? You either listen to people or ignore them. Take the advice that is good, hard but true and try that out. Ignore all of the advice that was kindly given but doesn't apply to you. Of course that is easier said than done. Easier said than done, though if you think about it, applies to pretty much every situation you can think of. What do you do? Travel if you got the money and time to do so. If you can't travel to another country, go somewhere, take a walk, take a hour and walk, just you and God, no one else. What do you do? go and write that book, write that poem. You won't write that poem or that book in a day or a week, it will take years probably but start on it now, now while you have some time. What do you do? You just need to do something. Travel, take that walk, write that book, write that poem, do what you have to do. Get that job and follow that dream if possible but just do something. Something is better than nothing.

What am I going to do now? At this moment, I don't know, but I'm going to do something.

I'm not Dead

Just a short post to say I am not dead.

I am not dead! *waves excitedly* yay!

So this weekend I was going to post another post (yay!) but it's about something more serious so I wanted this to be an in-between post or something. You ready to have me ramble for a bit? No? too bad.

Lately I have been wondering how productive is my life, how much time do I spend wasting my time on stuff that doesn't really matter in the end. I am wondering why I write. I am wondering why life so quickly gets stale and you so quickly get restless, wanderlust, and you think about how exciting it must be to travel, to write, to do something that you are not doing. I wonder why I get so restless. I wonder why everyone gets restless. I wonder how people can work with so much noise going on when I can only work in silence. I wonder how much people are made in noise and made in silence. I wonder a lot, a lot of important things lately, a lot of serious things, and I sit in my room and I pray and beg for answers.

 I wonder. Why am I so discontent at times when I have everything and most of the things that I need. I have a family who I love and who loves me, I have friends who I love and who loves me, I have Life Everlasting with Jesus Christ, why does my life go so stale so fast?
Maybe you feel the same, maybe you feel restless, you are plagued with wanderlust and with that you can't settle and be content in the here and now. I don't have any answers expect maybe I should try and live my life with this reality blaring in my head.
This is not forever. This is not the end, I am alive, I am not dead. I'm not dead, I am breathing, living, crawling slowly to something eternal and something good. This is not forever.

I am not dead.

Goodbye 2014

2014 has been a strange year for me. A good one but a strange one. In many ways I have learned nothing new but in other ways I have learned so much. I have been reminded of so much that God has done.
- January of 2014, I was in the aftermath of losing people who I loved very much. Nobody died but they left and suddenly I didn't want to get close to people. I got terrified, that's the only one to describe it, I was terrified to get to know anyone because I didn't want to get hurt again and I was suddenly scared that the people I was close to still would leave. Something I learned all over again was that if Jesus could love a selfish and unfaithful person like me then I could certainly love people if I was loving Jesus.
- Something that was happening all throughout 2014 was that I was trying to be more thankful. Each day I wrote in my notebook one thing that I was thankful for and I could only write one thing once. I didn't finish the whole year, I got to January to July maybe but even now I still think in my head "okay so what good thing happen today that I haven't been thankful for before?" It keeps me grounded. Remembering all of the little things I have to be thankful was a great exercise and I am so glad that I did that.
- March to December of 2014, I'm not sure how to describe this period expect that I was experiencing the joy and amazement of the Gospel like I never heard it before. I was feeding on milk, resting in the simple facts and promises that despite of all my issues and all of struggles that I was dealing with, sins I was being convicted on, that Jesus still loved me and would never leave me. His goodness, his greatness, constantly being reminded of who He is. I realised what a strange mystery the Gospel is that all-powerful, mighty, holy, and good God would love little, ugly, sinful, me. I realised that even though I had head-knowledge that God was my Father and his love is a gift and we don't have to work to receive that, even though I knew that, I wasn't living like that. I was living as if I had to work hard in order for God to notice me, to get Him to love me and to a certain extent I do that with other people. The promise and fact that He has adopted me into His family has filled me up with so much joy and I feel so much lighter now, I don't have the same weight on me as I did before. I was constantly learning the same thing over and over again; I was learning the Gospel all over again and guys it's been such a precious gift, such a precious time of learning. I never want to stop learning about the Gospel, never want it to go stale again.
so 2014, I have done many things with you. Thanks for being a blast and being a good year. Let's pray that the next one is equally good.

Lister's gonna to list

Before we go into the all of the New Year stuff,

Merry Christmas!!

Thinking about new year coming up makes me think of all of the things I have done in the last year and then usually when I get bored, I make lists because list are fun (I'll just stick to three items to make this list short). Like this for example-

Books I have read and loved in 2014

1. Bleak House by Charles Dickens- mostly because I thought it wasn't going to beat Little Dorrit by a landslide but then I was so surprised by the story and the characters that I think I may like it more than Little Dorrit. I don't know, it's a close call

2. Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier- I read it at my lovely friend Jess's house and I ignored her for about a day and a half just to finish this book. I felt sick to my stomach and had a huge book hangover and once I finished the book all I could do was lie in the chair, said things that started with " I can't believe that it blah blah blah blah blah".

3. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak- a beautifully written book, it was sad, quirky, and beautiful. I can't think of anything else to describe it.

There's an example, three top new books I read this year and loved.

Best movies I watched in 2014?

1. The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies- guys not to give any spoilers but I have seen twice in the cinema already, the first time I cried, the second time it was worse- I sobbed like a baby and my older brother Garrett laughed at me the entire time. Still I loved it and I can't wait for it for come out on DVD and in Extended Edition!

2. Mockingjay: Part 1- okay guys now this is really hard movie to watch because of these strange things we call feelings but this was really good as well. Also I waited a long time to actually see the movie and it was worth it at the end.

3. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty- just to show you guys I just don't watch sad movies but seriously this was good. It was funny, it was cute, it had Iceland in it and some of the Icelandic music in it, you should just watch it because of Iceland, but even if you don't watch it for the sake of Iceland, it was still a really good movie.

You bored yet? You know what they say; Lister's gonna to List (not sure if Lister is a word but lets go with it)

So that's it for now, but look out for New Years, there is another list coming up, but a less shallow and silly one.

Hey, Lister's gonna to list.

P.S. what were your three top movies and books that you have enjoyed this year?

Goodbye Teens

This Friday was my birthday.

My 20th birthday, which means I am no longer a teenager.

I know weird right? Right now I am not sure to be excited that those fairly terrible teen years are behind me ( that period of being 12 to 15 years old, NOW that was terrible) or sad that they are finally gone and does this mean that I have to be mature now? Everyone keeps on asking me if I feel any different and the thing is that I don't really feel any different. I feel pretty much the same, I found other things, besides the fact that I am 20, stranger. Like for example my good friend Holly who came down for the weekend for my birthday ( we'll save that for another post) the fact that I have now known her for a whole decade (What? how did that happen?). The fact that 15 years ago I thought that I would live in California forever and that 15 years later I would be all the way in England. The fact that when I was little, I thought being 20 was the epitome of maturity and by the age of 20 I would have moved out, had a fabulous job, making lots of money and to my 6-year-old mind 20 was the perfect age to get married ( HA! I was so stupid). Life is strange, weird, wonderful, and it goes by so quick.

It was a quiet birthday, small but I got spoiled, friends bought me flowers (guys I love flowers), bought me mini chest of drawers with a little notepads and pens in. Mom made me Mexican food with real corn tortillas and they got me so many presents, including two good movies: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and the Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug Extended Edition! I was surrounded by friends and good food all weekend and today we had our Christmas service and 3 people got saved there. Guys I can't ask for a better birthday gift.

And to end this first day of winter, there a beautiful sunset outside and the whole sky has been transformed into hues of pinks and oranges. So goodbye teens, it's been fun and awkward and I'm kinda of glad/sad to say goodbye to you.